what a sunday.. life is so bored!! haha.. wanted to watch Dance of the Dragon.. still got 1 free ticket ma!! hahaha!! so long yet haven use.. oh well.. event management de thingy gonna stress me out leh.. oh man!! how am i suppose to settle my stuff sia.. all so rush.. didnt even have a gd meeting lo!! wth.. den plus WISP de.. cannot make it la!! those team members ji tao bo hiew me!! den tat 5th members till now haven contact me!! wtf is this!! roar!! angry le la!! wednesday need to present lo!! wth.. sms them wun even reply de lo~ how to work in this team sia.. if so hard to communicate.. i wonder how we gonna get our work done leh!! ROAR!!!!
haiz.. why am i giving myself so much stress?? i have no idea.. trying to aim a gd result for this semester!! oh well.. just sms-ed my teammate.. and NONE reply me.. gosh.. how to get things done like this!! feel so unfair.. they dun even bother to get things done together.. wat to do?? i am not the leader of the group.. the group dun even got one leader.. and now, i am de one planning.. ARGHHH!! stupid la!! need to work also.. went out for Charlton celebration and used a lot of money.. i wonder can i coop a not.. the 2 irritating brothers still irritate me every single day.. i feel so vexed.. family problem that dun exist at my house appear from no where.. gosh.. i gonna break down..
Family - finally tot my house can be normal.. no income worry.. no conflict worry.. last year, parents fight till quite serious until almost got divorce.. dad jealous coz mama talk to men when work.. tat is quite reasonable from my point of view la.. coz mama just chatting la.. lucky enough, things settle properly.. still remember mama cry tat period of time.. saw her eyes so swollen.. i so heartache.. i cried in the middle of the night too.. i dun wan a broken family.. oh now.. now mama not working leh.. taking care grandma everyday now.. haiz.. only if my dad can think!!! 2 days ago went to temple with Charlton they all.. I pray hard.. pray hard that my dad can THINK!!! just think for the family and not himself.. now, i cant be a normal young adult like all others.. man.. why does de males in my family cannot think!!! damn it..
i am the youngest in the family.. and the only one that know how to think.. i wonder if this family dun have me, what will happen.. dun even kw when brothers can get a job.. going 30 soon leh.. still dun kw how to think.. mindset still like a kid.. both of them really very very jialat.. i cant go out.. i cant enjoy my life.. go out = spend money.. really need to work.. or else cannot enjoy life.. haiz.. mac pay so low.. wonder can tahan for my daily in school a not.. now, i need to console myself.. nobody can help my situation.. only i can.. nobody can help my family.. only i can.. nobody can help me.. only i can help myself.. haiz.. damn life..
everyone got their gd and bad part of life.. seem like my bad part is here.. haiz.. i feel de pressure.. de pressure in me make me wanna suffocate!! take fresh air from outside really help a lot.. but dun wish others to see my tears.. but staying at home really make me wanna suffocate anytime!! be brave!!! jiayou ruby!! haiz..
Smile.. But who really know behind that smile, how much i have to endure??
