i really dislike my life.. more and more.. must i really need to go thru everything again and again.. when den can i get rid of all the sad and bad stuff.. so wat if my birthday is coming.. should i thank god that it let me suffering additional 1 more year..

why other people can live happily.. why i cant? simple stuff what i want also so hard.. simple thing that i wanna change from my life also cannot.. den wat the point of me living in this world.. u really a idiot ruby.. a wrong path u choose again.. how many path have u dig out?? FUCKING LIFE!! tot birthday coming can really enjoy myself.. but things un seem right anyway.. who care abt my birthday anyway.. having a birthday a not is not impt to anyone.. really so tired.. if not becoz of my parents.. i would long be gone from this world.. and becoz of u too.. u are somebody impt to me.. as well as another reason for me to continue living..




My heart is getting deeper and deeper,
As deep as the ocean.
No one could hear my voice,
No matter in which conversation.

I wish I can exist in this world,
Where everyone would love and care for me.
I wish I could end this suffering,
For a better life for me.

Who can hear me calling?
Who can save me?
Who can bring me out of this world,
To a world of happiness?

I am lonely in the ocean,
Where no one could hear me.
I wish I can be in heaven,
Where angle would guide me.



seem like.. i just wrote a poem.. hope life can be better.. where no harm will occur.. where no sadness will filled in me.. haiz.. seem like.. i can no longer smile like before.. trying to strike harder.. yet nth gd come out.. haiz.. so discourage.. if i disappear.. hope no one will remember me.. just let me bring this hated for eternity.. should i get use to this?? i fight so much.. really tired.. just be gone.. and like tat bah.. will there be anyone that can hear me calling for help even without me asking??