i feel hurt again.. seem like he gonna make everything so clear ar?? oh well.. cannot get affected... but.. is impossible for now.. i dun believe.. he is so childish.. haiz.. why can't i get thing straight.. i know it.. i know everything.. but yet.. i dun wan to believe.. why sia.. i am hurt alright.. deeply hurt again.. oh man.. guys is really jerk... i really dun understand what they are thinking.. from research... most of the guy.. simply think of XXX nia..
i just told wen jie.. "how wish life can reformat just like a computer.. like tat.. wun so suffer.." but is impossible too.. i coughing quite badly.. gosh.. i really kanna affected.. oh ya.. i check my weight just now.. since my last measure.. i lost 5kg.. say seriously.. i really did cut down lots of weight.. and most of the weight is due to me not eating anything.. my appetite is getting back.. but.. whenever i think of those stuff tat hurt me.. i lost my appetite totally.. just now this afternoon.. i eating so fine.. but.. i suddenly stop eating.. and i run back to my room and lock myself up.. i haven get over with it alright.. haiz..
i cry damn badly... reason being.. i am watching naruto.. SO TOUCHING!!! but.. is also good tat i can cry.. crying always make one person feel better.. i went laughing and crying.. untill my dad tot i crazy.. haiz.. coz i cry real bad and laugh real loud.. *cough cough* hmmm.. wonder when den i can finish the anime.. is like.. A LOT LEH!!! haiz.. nvm..
i now at northpoint de mac.. 4.13am now.. today yc put me aeroplane.. haiz.. at least can tell me ma.. make me worry.. but.. she now ok leh (i hope).. at least.. she is fine.. wen jie say i suddenly got this serious look sia.. i think it did scare him a little.. how can i dun serious.. i just dun believe he do tat.. nvm.. seem like he wun contact me anyway.. so.. what for upset abt it.. u are strong gal ruby.. GAMBATEH!! dun forget.. u still got ur fren around u.. is all abt thinking... think the correct way.. and everything will be alright.. song did change ur mood ar..
one advise to u all.. when u sad.. LISTEN HAPPY SONG.. it will motivate u.. i can tell u all what song.. some song help me.. maybe they can help u too.. the beat u carry u into another lvl of height.. and will really motivate u.. and now.. my eye is burning... i am determine.. i dun need guys.. i dun need a bf.. xiong.. i gonna prove u wrong that i desprate for one bf.. coz.. i dun need them.. they are the cause of my hurt and my pain.. instead of getting all those.. i vows.. unless is the right guy.. or else.. NO RELATIONSHIP!! and i mean it this time.. and i never will have a relationship untill my exam is over.. this time.. i gonna open my eye big.. i being trap inside illusion all along.. i breaking thru this time.. so.. DUN TRY TO BEAT ME!!! I WILL NOT FAIL!! once i am determine.. mean THE END!! and nth can change it.. never ever provoke me when i am determine.. coz.. i dun care who u r.. coz.. in this state.. i am the rule.. whenever u see this eyes of mine.. the eyes of determination.. better dun try and provoke or irritate me.. coz tat will only bring u doom.. trust me.. coz i wun scare of anything.. and i am most confident in this state.. and i never will fail.. we will see... I WILL BEAT U!! I NEVER LOSE TO U "FATE".. I WILL NEVER LOSE TO U!!! u may beat me now.. but i will be the one laughing at the end.. u will see..
i only can see confidence in me now.. my mind is so clear now.. i may be blur.. but one this pair of eyes appear.. dun try to fool me.. coz u never will.. it being long since this pair of eyes appear.. let the battle begin.. U LOSE FOR SURE!! ROAR!!!!!!!!!
