firstly.. thx Wang Zhi Li... haha.. for helping me... see.. happy liao hoh???


i was so happy tat i found myself back.. and found back who am i... who i am... the feeling... and now??? hahahahaha...


i tot.. somebody special appear in my life.. and now?? i think i just dreaming after all... i just wan him to be happy.. tat all.. i try all my best.. do whatever he wanted.. just to let him feel happy... and now?? hahaha.. i am just a child after all.. who will really care what u did for them?? they will only keep looking at ur bad point... i really hate it when he was in the past.. and i dun want him to go back... i try my best... to let him kw tat the past of him, i dun wan.... and what i get is just a totally different answer... why can't u think another way??? why u keep on thinking tat i using those idiotic view to look at u... why can't u think tat what i wan is just simply make u become a happy person and not the past.. every move u make... scare me so much... scare tat u may go back to tat person again.. there is no 100% tat u wun go back... even if there is only 0.001% tat u will go back.. i still scare tat 0.001% will come true.. but.. u just carry on ur point of view.. this is the 2nd time.. u say i using those view to look at u... u wun kw how much it hurt me.. after all these days i spend with u.. i tot u can be the one tat i can go to... the one tat i can find when i cry... the one tat i can go to when i got a problem.. the one i can share my happiness with when i got gd news.. but everything just burst like bubble... u the 2nd guy tat make me cry so badly... nvm... u dun care anyway...


u said.. i should change.. i try my best to change.. even if u keep on pour me cold water... i try my best... i even told ah ma tat i will change.. why??? so many people ask me to change.. i just ignore.. why??? den why when u said den i change?? WHY?? all becoz u play an important part in my life.. after being thru so much with u... all the pain and happiness... and now?? i am just a kid?? u didn't even give me time to let me change... all this is not just 1 day, 1 word can change de... but now.. no matter what i do.. in ur eye.. i just a kid.. a crybaby.. but do u kw why i am a kid?? coz there is something a kid can have easily and an adult can't... AND TAT IS THE HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE!! all the care they have... i just wan somebody to take a good look at me.. kw tat i exist.. and kw tat i also wan some care from them... u dun kw anything... so stop saying me a kid... u always dun understand me.. knowing why i didn't even pour u cold water since ur birthday?? coz ur position in my heart is different.. i wan treat u a different and special person... but.. u just hurting me... like what u said.. our thinking is different.. we are different person... and do u kw?? what will happen when 2 different person met?? u wun kw.. u keep on staying in tat world of urs and refuse to come out.. i try to get in ur world and see what kind of world is tat.. but every step i made coz me great pain in my heart... when u are happy, i am happy.. when u are sad.. i wan u to share with me.. i wan to make u happy.. but.. all becoz u always see urself so important tat others is just nothing... den when i sad??? i start to got no one to turn to... why?? why not even u?? do u kw the reason?? coz u can be easily affected... i dun wan u to be sad like me.. i wan to handle myself.. and prove to u tat i not a kid.. i can be settle my own... but.. u didn't see the effort i made.. no matter what i do.. is all wrong in ur eye rite??? have u ever know how i felt????


i am touch tat day at k-box.. coz at that moment... i kw tat i am exist... even if is just a short period of time.. a couple of minute... but is enough already... coz i kw I AM EXIST... but now??? everything is just nothing... nothing for u.... and nothing for me now.. even is just a small thing.. i treasure the moment... even if it is a small msg... i can be very happy... but is all vanish now... i am so disappointed... disappointed in myself for being foolish... doing all those stuff for nothing.. i am just a kid.. a useless kid.. a kid tat can't grow up.. rite?? tat what u wanted to say rite??? now i kw... thx for saying...