haiz... i wanna go to the beach... and clear all my thinking... life is so... haiz... why?? why i keep complaining my life here and there?? why can't i just get over with it?? haiz... i know.. i still.. not ready for all this... FAN AR!!! whenever i think abt it.. i really very stress... i know my life is not easy now... and i kw.. the job in VE.. is not what i wanted.. more likely.. i wun be doing.. is not tat i am scare.. is just that.. it dun suit me.. but den.. i like the environment... the people there.. people like alvin.. azhar.. yi ming and so on.. they are so nice to me.. but den.. the job just dun suit me... sorry that i let u down kenneth.. really sorry.. forgive my selfish-ness.. forgive my irresponsible... forgive my everything... i really not ready for all this just yet.. it just that.. this job.. let me learn a lot of stuff.. i really really thank you for letting me learn so much of stuff.. and also let me see what my relative is doing now.. and i think... i hurt enough... i dun bare to see them like tat again... i know... no matter what i said.. u all will still got words to make me totally stop thinking this way.. but den.. u dun understand.. the feeling really very hurt me... what i really wanna do now is.. do my very best in my study.. study really give me a big blow.. i cannot really seperate both working stuff and study stuff.. i will bring my work feeling into my study.. and that really affect me a lot.. i not like the rest.. i maybe the worst of them all.. the problems in me... really make me very stress.. i kw.. i kw u take good care of me.. i really thank u a lot.. u being like a brother to me... give me solutions.. but den.. i think... is not the time yet.. i dun even know what to do.. is not tat i dun wan to go solve it.. is just that.. is not in my control... i can't go solve it.. coz.. is not what i can do.. i really dun wan to let u down.. but.. sorry...
haiz.. i really.. wanna break down liao.. dun feel like going home also.. home add me stress... whereas.. in school... i can be more relax.. study whatever i wanted... with a small group of fren.. that what i wanted.. just like just now.. i was so happy.. well.. with ginger.. alvin.. eddie.. cheng boon... we go study.. finish the blueprint stuff.. well.. alvin.. i think.. he gonna need a lot of help.. and i know that.. i will help him whenever i can.. i understand how alvin feel.. since i can help him.. why not do what i can?? i think.. i a little bit harsh on him just now.. but i dun think i tat harsh la.. is for his own good.. i will help him all the way...
today blueprint lesson is so boring.. i can really sleep lo.. i listen to my phone song.. coz.. the teacher keep repeat the same stuff over and over again for 1hour plus.. really listen till i du lan liao lo.. everybody was like.. *sleep*... really very boring.. even eddie.. also fall asleep.. haha..
haiz... so many stuff to do everyday.. dun really have enough time to sleep.. everyday travel like this.. i really.. very tired.. haiz..
hell man.. i wan to call for help... hope got a few more me.. like tat.. i can do everything nicely..
ARGHHHHHHH!!!! LET ME DIE LA!!!
