ok.. now i kw what is mean by "LOVE".. i watch finish the show le.. the animation... and.. it really tell me what does love mean... nothing is this world can win "LOVE"... LOVE is something tat cannot be defeated... love can be the stronger energy to win the darkness.. the enemy...the power of love is so big.. and strong.. and the love the characters shared, really touch the bottom of my heart.. The story abt Tamahome and Miaka.. they being in so much.. and save the 2 world by their love.. when den can i find my love?? T.T everytime watch finish all this kind of show, will have a feeling of falling in love.. haiz.. but i kw... it wun happen on me..

today... well.. i should go see ivy de.. but.. wasn't very well.. den very tired.. so never go and see her.. ivy was in hospitalise... and.. heard tat is quite serious le... her red blood cell plateu dropped.. if continue to drop, her life will be danger.. i tml.. i think.. i will ask to go off early.. den go hospital and see her..

oh man.. xiong is ignoring me.. haiz... dun kw why.. there seem like a crack of what between us le... it seem like we getting further and further away... and yiyi also.. dun kw what the hell is happening... he also seem like ignoring me.. haiz.. he change ever since he become a manager.. my life really have a great change... it seem like it changing to the worst...

haiz... how wish my life end here.. if grow up, have to handle and overcome all this thing, i rather dun wan to grow up.. everything is getting more and more difficult... human is keep on changing and changing.. it seem like i can see the evil in human..

when i was on the way home from work just now.. abt past mid nite... i was listening to my hp song.. den.. a guy come to me.. i was so scare.. coz.. the man was asking money from me.. i hold my hp tightly.. i scare he rob me... den he said tat he was rob.. and he lost everything.. and asking me to lend him some money... but.. i dun have.. i dun have small change.. and.. i scare tat when i take out my wallet.. he will just snatch it and run away... i was so scare.. i was alone.. the road was also very dark... and was quite a number of step away from the coffee shop... i den try and get away from the man.. i keep on looking back see if there is anyone following me.. when i reach my lift.. i more scare... is past mid nite.. and there is pervert at my hse here de.. den i keep on looking everywhere.. see if there is anyone a not.. lucky dun have.. but heard a guy coughing.. and it seem like is coming to my way... den i faster run into the lift den get back home as fast as possible.. first time... first time like this scare... i was all alone..

today... working... well.. it seem like.. only at nite time.. den i was happily working.. stanley and farid was playing with me.. and i was like a mad dog barking here and there.. i quite like working with farid.. coz.. can play with him... and can get a lot of fun.. for me.. if working not happy, i will rather quit.. and it seem like.. i only happy when working with stanley.. izzit becoz i kw stanley longer?? oh well.. i dun kw le.. when working with other manager, it seem like i cannot really let myself out.. must wear a mask.. den when working with stanley, i can be a mad gal.. let myself out.. but.. i will still quit mac.. no matter what.. i kw.. i kw i will be soft hearted when talking to boss.. coz he will say a lot of things to me.. and will try to let me change my mind.. but... i will keep on stay on my decision.. i must think of a very very good reason le.. well.. b4 i start work.. i told boss b4.. i work not for long.. only for the period of time when i was waiting for my result.. and after tat.. i will stop... and now.. i wanna fully concentrate on my study.. i think.. all these reason is enough le ba.. if really not enough.. i think i realy have to say the reason tat i dun wish to say... but i will keep to the last..

oh well.. was playing with farid and stanley at store.. they keep on bullying me!!!! den i chase them all around to hit them!!! arghhh.. den i was having a fight with farid in the kitchen.. taking our weapon.. den ATTACK!!! haha.. well.. we was playing only ma.. oh well.. they said one thing.. and i think.. i also agree.. "she is a girl.. and got a power of a guy.." haha.. sometime i also thinking am i a gal or a boy.. it seem like i more stronger den others gal.. haha.. but.. i also very weak.. in certain extend..

well.. i still have to tahan for another 9 more days.. den i am free.. den i can quit.. well.. i will wait till boss back.. and let him really set me free..

my new life will start... when poly start.. maybe can find a new boyfriend there?? hahaha.. wun de la.. i dun have those shine... wun really have guys interest in me de la.. hahaha.. i use to it le.. being single for 17years plus.. really make me feel.... bad... am i tat bad?? haiz.. nvm... the more i think... the more i will feel worst... haiz.. maybe... will go on single for a very long time ba... haiz... HEY GUYS!!! am i tat bad??? everytime tell me let nature take its course... i have let nature take it sourse for so long liao le.. i think is time.. for me to wake up..

aiya.. i think.. my character change again.. change to a person.. tat is not what i wanted.. change to a person tat let ppl hate.. correct??? it seem like xiong and yiyi is hating me... is not the original them anymore.. or izzit me the one tat is changing??? it seem like.. the old days had become memory.. and wun go on anymore... so is fate to be like this ar??? i dun wan it to be... not long ago.. yiyi is still having fun with me... xiong also... but now??? their face all change.. change to someone i dun kw... change to someone tat i dun wish to kw... change to someone tat i fear to kw... i wan the old yiyi and xiong back... the time where we 3 go out together.. having supper... shopping together.. having lunch together.. happily sharing all the good and bad thing together.. and not like this!!!! this is horrible.... am i dreaming??? well.. it do hurt when i pinch my face... haiz... msg xiong.. also no use... wun reply me... sian.. start to feel meaningless msg him liao.. i kw him well.. but.. he dun kw me... now.. i am thinking.. am i really kw him tat well?? i feel tat... i always trusted him.. and 101% more trusted den others.. i cannot think of what i will do if the trusted i had in him is being break.. haiz... well... it my day continue like this going on, i dun kw how long i still can take it... feel so... difficult living in this state..

yawn.. haiz.. tml morning work 11am.. den nite time have to go hospital see ivy le.. think i should go rest liao bah.. since xiong still dun wan to reply me.. i think he is sleeping le bah.. he working M1 tml.. i dun kw had send how many msg in a go to him.. haiz.. i will still put the car on my key chain.. till the day.. till the day i give up.. i iwll put the car away.. and keep it in my heart 4ever.. yawn.. slp time..