oh dear... i have no idea wat the hell is happening to me.. today working.. totally dun feel like talking... moody le.. dun kw why.. haiz..

at 2plus.. xiong come seh... he do remember~ he do remember tat he going out with me after i work.. he waited for me for so long sia.. first time... last time he working.. i always wait for him.. this time he wait for me... feel so different...

aiyo.. was like very stress in work le.. i think this is the main reason bah... coz.. a bit scare of working le.. i dun kw how to pharse it... dun kw le.. i really dun kw what is the main problem... but... started to feel not happy when working liao le.. starting i work.. becoz i am happy working.. but now?? dun kw why le... not really happy...

when working kitchen today... i fall down.. i landed on my butt!!! arghhhh... lucky i didn't hurt my head... but... my butt hurt... xiong, yiyi and ping ping inside the manager room.. and i think.. they didn't notice it... oh man.. lucky i shout not so loud... and got thing cover me... i think nobody kw i fall down bah... but... butt very pain...

when finish working... me, xiong and ping ping went out eat eat... well.. only xiong and ping ping eat.. i didn't eat.. i didn't even take my emc... i only take a drink nia... but.. my gastric feel so bad seh... haiz.. oh well.. after tat.. xiong pei wo go northpoint lo.. coz.. buying yangching present ma.. i spend quite a lot le.. haiz.. but.. very nice.. i like the present i buy... i also but one.. love shape de chain.. so nice.. well.. den saw one person.. dun kw is who le.. but.. somehow xiong kw her.. oh man... xiong told me tat she was a ex-crew... but... feel very uneasy le.. haiz... hmmmm.. i got 2 car keychain for free seh.. and.. got light de wor.. i take the blue and red one... well.. i gave xiong the blue one.. den i keep the red one.. but xiong.. arghhh!!! tell u one small thing i can vomit blood le... i told u tat the car may look small.. but it mean big... or can say.. mean a lot... and make sure dun lost it.. haiz... will he keep it safely??

well... my gastric wasn't feeling gd... right after we bought the stuff.. i ate my medicine.. lucky my bag have it... but it look like it gonna finish soon... look like have to buy liao.. haiz... hmmmm... mood still not very gd le.. den was thinking of going reservoir... but.. cannot ask xiong go also rite?? he was sick... plus... he said he going home.. haiz.. oh well.. i told him to go home first lo.. i said tat i going walk walk a while... haiz... den??? we walk our own way lo.. haiz.. was so in toward to go out with him.. only both of us... but sian lo.. moody... nothing can do also.. den.. i jsut walk to the reservoir lo...

at the reservoir.. everything look so different from my life... coz.. it was so quiet... if i were to choose.. i rather choose to stay at the reservoir alone den staying at home kanna disturb by my brother... when at the reservoir... haiz... my tear do out of control... i have no idea what i should do... i feel very very very lost... i msg... xiong... joanna... asking them what i should do... but.. in the end?? get stupid answer... "go home slp is the best"... if i can't even sleep peacefully??? got what use?? i can't even gone to sleep last night... haiz... i feel the breeze... hot and cold... alone there... is making me feeling.. so... relax... but.. also time for me to release a bit of my stress.. cry yourself out... it can really make u feel better... the feeling of keep hold the stress under ur heart.. is making me out of breath... i need some break...

i stay at the reservior.. for... 2 hours plus.. i think... nearly 3 hours bah... and it seem like.. i almost caught a cold... my gastric hurt... coz.. i haven ate anything for the whole day... well.. i was thinking abt asking xiong out eat eat de.. but.. i change my mind.. coz.. no matter what.. he still sick.. he need rest... haiz.. den.. never ask lo...

i msg evl... but.. he took me dun kw how long den reply.. i was abt reaching chong pang liao.. was abt to buy my own food den go home liao... den he reply me.. haiz.. oh well.. in the end.. he still late.. T.T well.. he lie to me!!! he told me tat.. if i need him... and there is abt 100 steps between us.. i just have to take the first step to him.. and he will take the 99 steps to me... haiz.. den?? when i need him?? i was crying alone.. he said he not coming... omg!!! what a brother ar?? nvm... at least he pei wo eat eat a little bit..

i dun kw when.. i started to like walking alone when i am moody... and... no matter how long i walk... i wun be tired at all.. u cannot imagine how much i walk today... but... i kw tat.. my butt hurt today... coz.. sit too long liao.. den.. pattern stay the same for very very long.. haiz...

well.. i took picture of the moon... i sit there when the moon haven rises... till the moon rise till the very high.. i took a few of the picture of the moon.. and.. every picture look different!!!! and i am sure tat.. i will keep the photo of the moon.. coz.. really very different!!! and it look so beautiful...

well.. one thing true is.. after talking to joanna just now.. something inside me awaken... is like.. i overcome something.. and it make me feel better... it look like i have take another step in my life liao... oh well.. i kw.. i kw tat i still got a long way to go.. tat why.. i cannot give up!!! whenever a person is feeling very down, they might think of... why dun just jump out of the window and die??? when i at reservoir.. i keep my mind clear... coz i kw.. i wun becoz of all thing happen... and end my life just like tat.. i haven taste a lot of nice things... a lot of things i haven even try b4.. or even feel before.. and i kw!! if i thinking of die, mean i lost!!!! and.. i am sure!! i wun lost!! i will stand up!! and be my own!!! coz!!! I WILL STILL SHOOT EVL!! wahaha!!!

i bet if he see this.. he will say.. "WA LAO.. like tat say.. u win liao lo.." haha.. correct?? i am 100% sure tat "wa lao" u sure will say de.. well.. evl indeed change a lot le.. change to a better person... well.. he keep saying tat he grow taller le... but.. for me?? i really feel tat he never grow taller le.. haiz.. maybe i am taller myself?? HOPE NOT!!! ARGHHH!! IF I REALLY TALL AGAIN!!! i really kill myself... haha.. joking... hmmmm.. i still got a lot of things have to do.. so.. i wun give up so easily..

HAIZ... xiong ar!! WHY U CANNOT GO ICE SKATING!! why u have the stupid manager meeting.. why!!! i was so in towards for this day to come.. den u disappoint me... sian.. why do people like to disppoint others le?? sob sob.. haiz.. why so suay... why suay suay ur manager meeting on friday.. T.T stupid le!!!! oh well.. now.. still need 3 ppl... if dun have... i will just say.. cancel... why?? why everytime when i so wanted to go some place.. in the end.. will end not not going... T.T so.. sad.... haiz... so sad xiong cannot go... so sad... so sad... coz.. he cannot go.. mean.. total have to find 3 people liao.. so sad... from 2 people become 3 people.. more hard liao lo!!! tian ar!!!

headache... stomach pain... and maybe caught a flu?? haiz...