well.. i cry again... this time.. i cry for 2 days.. and each day for different things... hmmmm.. let me recall.... ytd was mui birthday.. me, mui and gail went got K-Lunch... den i go back store... den.... do the project... den.... at nite time.. go supper.. supper with xiong.. yiyi and stanley... hmm... den a "somebody" called xiong... but he refused to said who izzit.. haiz... well.. i guess is a girl.. hmmm.. from xiong reply.. i think that girl.. is a "special" one for xiong bah...

hmmm... when reach home.. very very late le.. mood very very bad.. sky full of star.. the sky is so clear... but... there is dark cloud in my heart... and look like it going to rain... i was locked outside the door.. coz.. my dad lock the door forgot tat i haven come home... well.. have to call lo.. haiz.. when i wash up a bit.. i lie on my bed... and... dark cloud began to rain in my heart... tear all over my pillow... i think so much... so much of things... every single things that happen... and... i type all my feeling inside my phone.. hmmm... i type... abt 14 pages in the msg... i cry till.. i cannot get to sleep.. i hardly get my sleep.. haiz.. i slept less den 2 hours.. have to wake up le.. hmmmm... what i write in my phone.. only joanna kw.. coz she understand me..

well.. i think i should give up le... think i should walk away silently... at least.. wun hurt tat much rite?? but... i feel so bad when i dun wish to hear some of the things... but.. cannot run away from it.. haiz... maybe.. all the while.. i think too much le.. think... is only my one side thinking... i kw how i look like inside the mirror... tat why i choose to walk away silently... like a person is not easy at all.. i wun becoz of an answer.. give up what i have now... me tear drop again... why?? why happy ending always can be seen.. but... not happening on me?? why always sad ending tat happened on me... why always the ending i dun wish to see most?? when den will i have a happy ending?? i am hurt... but... at least.. got 1 day... and tat is the day.. tat i most happy with.. coz.. nothing hurt me at all.. only happiness surrounded me.. and tat is the day.. with the most care and concern abt me... at least... i got 1 day... 1 day tat i really touch with... one day tat have the feeling of being protected... the feeling as if i am a glass tat will smashed into pieces anytime but with someone carefully protect and care with... i always wanted someone.. someone tat can give me this kind of feeling.. and i found it in u... even if u just seated beside me... i feel... so... happy already.. even if u never talk to me... i still got a feeling tat.. u r carefully protecting me.. even is just a lunch with u.. or msg from u... i very very happy already.. at least i still kw that there is somebody still remember me... knowing tat i am exist... i dun mind waiting for u for a few hours... i dun mind waiting for a small thing for a few hours.. i really dun mind.. coz.. i wan to.. but... i feel tat.. u change le... tat feeling started to fade... the feeling of being protect.. the feeling of being care... all started to fade... maybe... there is someone in ur mind le bah... tat why everything become like this... think i only can find the one tat give me the special feeling i wanted in my memory.. whenever i saw somebody tat i dun wish to see.. for eg... tat person... i feel my heart carrying a few tonnes of stone... is so heavy.. i feel so scare.. feel tat i am nothing.. feel tat i not tat good also.. feel tat i am not the one... start to feel all those things tat is negative.. my negative mind set still there... feel so stress when seeing tat person.. coz.. i not like tat person.. i think.. i have to stop le... coz.. the more i do for u... the more i will hurt... the more i feel tat it dun worth anything to u.. u got ur own life.. and i cannot do anything... am i tat useless?? i cry for dun kw how long... i think... i really drop inside the river le... after hanging on so long.. now drop inside le... if i dun find my way out of tat river... i will continue hurt... i fall for u le.. is this a wrong move?? or a right move?? should i take a step front.. and remind there?? or should i just turn back and walk away... so happy can sing with u... sing with the song i like so much... singing the song tat how wish i can do it... thank... thank for giving me the protecting feeling i wanted most.. thank for everything.. and i kw... i think i know what is ur answer le.. i will walk away... without letting my hand out again... dun wish to hurt one more time...

Jiu Rang Wo Ai Ni.......