haiz~ my mood is so bad~ from small to now... none of my wishes come true~ wat i wan is just somebody that meant for me... but dun kw why... maybe i too wish for a bf le bah~ well... maybe i should learn from the song~ Yi Ge Ren Sheng Huo... i think i have to learn to be Yi Ge Ren Sheng Huo(living alone).... how wish tml wun come.... coz i dun wan another wish of mine to be gone.... how wish i can fly to the sky~ full of star.... with nobody.... alone... under the sky full of star.... well... tat should be a good thing right??? anyway... if tml... really no ppl appear... i think i go be nun... haha.. just kidding.. dun worth it right??? i like somebody.... but... tat somebody... after i think so carefully... i think... haiz... tat somebody dun like me bah... well.. maybe like as in sister... after christmas.... well.. just give me one more day... one more day to like him... after tat... i wun dare anymore... i kw this is all the punishment i get of loving someone tat cannot bring me happiness... just one last day... after 12midnite on christmas day... i will give up... coz i kw love cannot be force... well.. wat for writing all here??? do u kw why bloggee??? coz i dun dare to say... after so many time of failure... i scare liao... why should i say??? never say... still can be close... i scare tat if i say... not even close anymore... at least.. i can write watever i wan here... even if he saw it.. he wun kw is he anyway... wat if he kw is he??? nth will happen de la...

sometime i thinking... why god is so unfair to me??? why everyone can have a partner... living happily... and me?? alone... izzit my sin?? or wat?? or i meant to be like this 4ever?? oh dear~ i thinking negative liao~ how!!!!! i hope i just can slp... den cannot wake up... den i wun suffer... die also die untill so peaceful!!! aiyo!! wat the hell are u thinking ar ruby??? u got ppl wan de ok~ only.. haven appear... only.... i think... wat a answer~ tat person may appear.. tml?? 1 week later?? 1month later?? 1 year later?? or 10years later??? nobody will kw.. i only kw tat... i like tat person... but i dun dare to tell... coz i scare... i will lose something... god make me cannot fall in love.. coz once i fall in love.. i will need to pay something... the previous time... becoz i told tat person i like him... i lost a fren... one time is enough~ i dun wan the other time... one time is painful enough... i dun wish to pay anything... tat why i choose not to say out... i told myself.. somebody will like u de.. only time haven come... u will get a guy much more better den everybody... and u will be the most happy gal in the world.. becoz of this... i pay a lot... so wat should i do??? let nature take its course?? ya rite... how long will it take?? maybe a few more years??? by tat time.. i think.. i will be very very tired...

what i always wan.. is just a simple life.. but... people around me.. keep making it more complicated... i dun kw why le... u kw wat bloggee??? whenever i talk to u... i will use all my emotion... all the emotion will just out of control... well.. after i think abt the past... i felt tat.. most of the time... the emotion very strong de... is crying... aiyo~ why am i so a cry baby??? i really cannot control... tian ar!!!! why like this??? when i small... how matter how.. i wun cry because of small thing.. but now le... small small small thing.. i cry liao... oh dear~ wat to do!!!! arghhhh....

oh well... people read my blog.. may think tat i am really crazy liao... hoh??? correct??? tag my blog and tell me bah... let me see.. xiong might probebly say.... "u think too much"... well.. he love saying this... and everytime he say this... oh well... i kw it is true... i very scare of his "you dun think too much".... really... very scare... today i receieved his christmas gift... well.. i should be VERY VERY HAPPY!!! but... dun kw why... full of sadness.. i started to feel sad... when in the bus... i think i am really...... haiz... why i so sad??? i dun kw le... how wish i can just write everything out.... so tat i can feel so much better... but... i just wish to keep it deep in my heart... and lock it... xiong gave me a cup... well.. is so nice... i think it should be very expensive... among so many present he brought... izzit mine tat is the most expensive de?? i dun kw le... ask him how much he also dun wanna say... but.. if i not wrong.. i do heard him say.. quite expensive... i should be happy rite??? he said tat time tat he wun buy de... at Causeway Point also say dun wanna buy for gals... coz he said.. guys... buy for my best fren... ben.. stanley.. yiyi... and gals... dun have.... well... was very sad tat time... but... dun really wanna show tat out in front of them... but was quite happy tat sze peh was there to accompany me... at least... i wun feel lost... but... when in bus.. xiong said "actually i dun wanna give u first de... but... my bag very big... so i give u first..." wow.. i should be supprise right??? but i dun have the feeling.... coz... starting... he said he give all his best fren... den i remembered tat... his frenster... wrote me as his best fren... well.. den say no gals de best fren... den now give me tat present... how i feel??? well.. maybe he is thinking tat.. since i am there... he cannot say out ma... well.. but he dun kw tat it hurt me.. haiz~ if xiong saw this post... i bet he going to scold me again... "wtf... buy present give u... u like tat..." haha~ i think maybe he will say this... he ytd say... wun bully me... well... at least today he treat me not bad... but already use to it liao le... he never bully... i feel uneasy... well.. xiong.. if u see this post.. i hope u can continue bully me... if dun bully.. i feel very uneasy... but this post so long... think u also wun go see bah~ correct??? haha~ alright.... enough of it liao~ no people will care to take a look at it also right?? well.. i should have keep the web to myself.. den i can write whatever i wan... no ppl will kw~ haha~

Wo Xiang Wo Ke Yi Xi Guan Yi Ge Ren Sheng Huo... Love Is Only A Dream That Wun Come True...